What Truly Defines a Man?
Do you ever feel that your identity is wrapped up in your job, status, or mistakes? The world is loud about who you should be, but what does God say? As men, we often define ourselves based on our careers. But are you truly defined by your job?
We live in a fallen world that tries to confuse people and distort reality. The evil one is using “societal norms” to encourage men to be women and women to be men.
In this article, we’ll address some common misconceptions we believe to be the truth around what it means to be a man.
Are You Defined by the World or by the Word?
When you meet someone for the first time, do you introduce yourself by your job title? “Hello, I’m a writer – but people call me Martin.” If you did that, others might find you strange. Even though society says, “You are what you do.”
Unfortunately, society promotes identity based on sexual or gender preferences. But that’s wrong. Anyone (both Christian and non-Christian) who chooses to define themselves based on a single behavior, interest, or trait is not following God’s Word.
Many tend to define themselves by what they do. Perhaps you’re proud of your occupation or entrepreneurial spirit. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Taking ownership of your career is important.
However, your career, political views, sexuality, or even parenthood do not define who you are as a person. I’m proud to be my wife’s husband since 2003. And I’m proud to be a dad since 2005. Those titles don’t define who I am, but they do help shape me.
What if I were a terrible husband and father? Would my wife and kids be proud of me? Probably not.
The world says your income or title measures success. Therefore, we tend to define ourselves based on that standard.
But God looks at you and says, “You are made in My image” (Genesis 1:27, 1 Samuel 16:7b).
“God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27)
“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7b)
Are you fearfully and wonderfully made? Well, according to Psalm 139 you are.
“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)
And according to John’s gospel, as a believer of Jesus Christ, you have the right to become a child of God.
“But as many as received Him, to them He gave the [a]right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name.” (John 1:12)
Romans 8 then says that as children of God, we’re co-heirs with Christ.
“Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory.” (Romans 8:17)
Culture may label you a failure based on your past mistakes. But God offers grace and a new beginning (2 Corinthians 5:17).
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Do you prefer to be defined based on the world’s standard? Someone who is nothing more than what you do in the bedroom, your chosen profession, what you consume, or whether you decided to get married or have children? Or will you be defined by how God designed you?
Your Past Doesn’t Define You—God Does
We’ve all made choices we wish we could undo. I can’t tell you the number of times something that happened in my past will appear like a flash in my brain. The way I made someone feel, the words I used, the actions I did or didn’t take, and much more.
These episodes are a part of life. And even though our past helps mold who we’ve become, it doesn’t define who we are.
For my wife and I, this is our second marriage. Being divorced and remarried doesn’t define who we are. It’s what we’ve done.
Most people know the famous baseball player Babe Ruth for his legendary home runs. After all, he held the home run record of 714 for 34 years. But most people don’t realize he also held the strikeout record of 1,330 for 30 years.
For 30 years, he could’ve been seen as either the greatest home run hitter or for having the greatest number of strikeouts in history. Did you know he started his baseball career as a pitcher? “The Bambino” was not defined as a left-handed pitcher for the Boston Red Socks.
In the New Testament, on the night Jesus was arrested, Simon Peter denied knowing Him three times. After Jesus’ resurrection, He referred to Peter as a rock (Matthew 16:18).
“And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it.” (Matthew 16:18)
Peter wasn’t defined by what he did but by who he was.
Paul, also known as Saul, was a strong persecutor of the early Christian church. He had many Christians arrested and murdered, including Stephen (Acts 7:57-8:3). While traveling to the city of Damascus to have Christians arrested, he was only stopped when Jesus interceded (Acts 9:1-6).
Jesus would use Paul to reach Israelites and Gentiles (Acts 9:15) for two thousand years.
God called David, an adulterer and a murderer, “A man after my own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14, Acts 13:22). God called Moses, a murderer, to save His people (Exodus 3:1-14). And there are countless other examples in the Bible.
At no time did God define David or Moses as murderers or adulterers. No matter your past, God can redeem and redefine who you are (Isaiah 43:18-19). He does this not by what you’ve done but by who He is.
If God can redeem Peter, Paul, and David, He can redeem your story, too.
Are You Living for Approval or from Acceptance?
We all want the approval of others in one way or another. For some, it becomes an addiction, and they’ll do whatever they can to receive more of it. Think of social media influencers seeking the next level of followers or likes.
When you seek validation from others, you become a slave to their opinions. Because we all have opinions, the uniqueness of them is weakened.
Perhaps we should focus on the only approval we truly need in life: God’s. Even though he was rejected by many, some even tried to kill him, Paul pursued to please God rather than mankind (Galatians 1:10).
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10)
Perhaps it’s time to learn to receive the acceptance of others, knowing you’re already loved by God. Not because of what you’ve done or will do, but because of who He is.
As men, we tend to tie our worth to our work. That’s why many men struggle with retirement or a loss of job. When that happens, many men go through an identity crisis. But a job title isn’t an identity. Your worth, purpose, and value come from God. And it’s irrevocable (Romans 11:29).
“For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.” (Romans 11:29)
Think about it this way: Jesus didn’t choose His disciples based on their pedigree or profession. Rather, He chose them for their willingness to follow Him (Matthew 4:19).
“Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” (Matthew 4:19)
Will you follow Him over the approval of others?
“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. 27 And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.” (Luke 14:26-27)
“So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.” (Luke 14:33)
God never said living the Christian walk would be easy. But He reassures us we’ll never have to go through it alone (Joshua 1:9).
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)
Regardless of what others think, God knows who you are and what you’ve done. Believe in and follow Him, and have assurance of something much greater to come.
Who You Are in Christ: The Unshakable Truth
We live in a fallen world. And because of that, we will fail over and over again. Through these failures, some will be condemned by others. As a child of God, your heavenly Father will never condemn you (Romans 8:1).
“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1)
As a believer, your old has passed away and you’re a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17).
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
And as a believer, God says you’re:
- More than a conqueror (Romans 8:37)
- His child (Romans 8:17)
- His friend (Joshua 15:14-15)
- Forgiven (Ephesians 1:7)
- No longer a slave to sin (Romans 6:6)
- A Saint (Ephesians 1:1, Philippians 1:1, Colossians 1:2)
- And so much more
Remember, you are not defined by the sins or successes of your past. God has the final answer, and as a believer, you are His child and His friend (John 15:14-15).
“You are My friends if you do whatever I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.” (John 15:14-15)
And that’s better than what another flawed human can do or say about you.
So, will you let your job, your past, or this culture define you, or will you choose to be defined by the One who made you?
If you found value in this post, consider reading The Weakening of Men in Society.
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