What Biblical Masculinity Really Looks Like
In today’s culture, the definition of manhood has become clouded by extremes.
Please understand, when I use the term “manhood,” I’m not referring to a man’s penile appendage. Though that is one sure-fire way to distinguish the difference between a man and a woman. For those who don’t know.
Some have tried to portray masculinity as toxic aggression or even domination, and therefore have tried to root it out of males.
One way they’ve tried to do this is through movies and television shows. Either by making the leading male look dumb or inept, thereby requiring the leading female to save the day. Or she’s effortlessly able to outsmart the man. In more recent hero-type movies, the woman is even portrayed as being stronger than the man.
Of course, in reality, we know that males are naturally stronger and faster than females. This is based solely on genetics. No matter how many times a lie is told, it will never be the truth.
Men and women are quite distinct from one another. One of many reasons why biological males should not be allowed to play in female sports or use female locker rooms or bathrooms.
Because God is not a god of confusion, this trend comes from the evil one (Satan). God’s Word has been clear about the distinction between a man and a woman, and their roles in the family and society.
However, this article will be focused on biblical masculinity. And who better to look to understand the term than our Creator?
“So, God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them.” – Genesis 1:27
If you’re looking for some good Men’s Bible Study Material, consider checking out Christianbook.com.
Strength Expressed Through Love
Today’s culture wants you to believe that strength means control or physical power. While true on the surface level, that’s only part of it. Anyone who limits it to that is short-sighted in their thinking.
One great act of strength is not repaying hurt with pain. Meaning, having the ability to inflict pain on someone who hurt you, but choosing to forgive them instead. It takes a lot of strength to turn the other cheek.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.” – Matthew 5:38-39
Understand, showing love and kindness doesn’t mean you allow yourself to become a target for cruelty. After all, Jesus tells His disciples to sell their cloaks and buy a sword if they don’t have one (Luke 22:36).
For husbands, Paul says it like this, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” – Ephesians 5:25
He continues in verse 28, “In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” – Ephesians 5:28
Biblical masculinity includes showing your strength by loving your wife sacrificially and treating her like your own body. To sustain your body, you take care of it by nourishing, protecting, and treating it well. Therefore, you should do the same for your wife, marriage, and children.
Just as we are told to love others, we’re told to practice humility.
Practice Humility Over Pride
When someone offends you, what’s your instinctive reaction? Is your knee-jerk reaction to get revenge? Do you get upset when someone doesn’t give you credit for work you did?
The Bible talks a lot about being humble. For instance, acknowledging your need for a Savior is humility.
“When pride comes, then comes shame. But with the humble is wisdom.” – Proverbs 11:2
And the Bible speaks a lot about pride, too. For it was pride that led to Lucifer being kicked out of Heaven.
“Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor. So, I threw you to the earth; I made a spectacle of you before kings.” – Ezekiel 28:17
In the same way, pride can separate us from God and our fellow man. Humility doesn’t mean allowing yourself to be a doormat for others. Rather, it’s acknowledging there are things much greater than what we’ll experience here on Earth.
Therefore, instead of trying to get the last word or always being right, focus on what you can do to help others and lift them up.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” – Philippians 2:3
Pride ruins marriages, friendships, and even churches. But humility heals wounds, restores trust, and draws people together. A biblical man leads not by lording over others but by following the example of Christ, who knelt to wash feet.
If you’re looking for some good Men’s Bible Study Material, consider checking out Christianbook.com.
Leading with Grace
Biblical masculinity includes loving and leading your family sacrificially with grace.
Mercy is not receiving what we deserve. Grace is receiving what we don’t deserve. Some refer to it as unmerited favor.
God shows all of us grace by making a way back to Him. He did this when He sent His Son to Earth to become the eternal Passover lamb.
“God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.” – 2 Corinthians 5:21
To explore more on this, consider reading: Is Easter About Hiding or Revealing?
As men, we must learn to lead with grace. For believers, we know what we’ve been forgiven of. And we know the grace we’ve received from others (not just God). That’s why we should extend grace to others.
But that doesn’t mean we should be a doormat for those who wish to take advantage of our kindness. Rather, we should stand for what’s right without being harsh.
Being fully man and fully God, Jesus led with grace and mercy without compromising His righteousness. As believers, we’re called to follow His lead.
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; 2and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.” – Ephesians 5:1-2
It’s important to demonstrate love for your children, too. For your kids, this type of love includes both praise and discipline without the need to lord over them.
Many parents (Christian or not) misuse the Bible by taking certain verses out of context to make it fit their agenda.
Take for example, “Children, obey your parents…” from Ephesians 6:1. Why is it that we hardly ever hear the rest of that verse?
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” – Ephesians 6:1
Of course, if we keep reading a few verses further, we’ll see further instructions for parents.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4
Understand, even though fathers are called out by Paul, mothers are not exempt from that command.
As believers and fathers, we have the privilege and responsibility to guide our sons and daughters. For sons, we are to teach them how to lead their families biblically. And for our daughters, we are to teach them what a godly man looks like.
Sometimes, it’s hard to do that. But God’s Word doesn’t say it would be easy.
Love – Even When It’s Hard
Biblical masculinity is not for the faint of heart.
Did you know that you are commanded to love your wife? If love were a feeling, it would prove quite difficult. That is why love is a choice.
Choosing to love someone can be extremely hard. When they say hurtful things to you. Perhaps they betrayed your trust.
Think of the love Jesus poured out for the world on the cross.
He died for the sins of those who spat on Him, yelled curses at Him, ripped His clothes, scourged Him, shoved a wrapped vine of thorns into His scalp, put a robe on Him and mocked Him, and eventually stuck Him on a cross to be crucified.
And yet He loved every one of them, and those yet to be born.
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8
Hopefully, we’ll never have to experience even one-tenth of that. Though it’s hard to show love and compassion to someone who just insulted us (or our family), accosted us, or did anything that we find hurtful.
Yet, that’s what we’re to do.
It’s easy to tell someone you forgive them for doing you wrong. Just like it’s easy to say, “I love you.” Saying is not the same as meaning.
Demonstrating your forgiveness and love is a necessity. And let your word be your bond.
“But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” – Mathew 5:37
God never said living the Christian life would be easy. Thankfully, He did tell us that we’d never have to walk this life alone.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9
We love God because He first loved us (1 John 4:19), and we forgive others because we have been forgiven (Ephesians 4:32).
Love in biblical masculinity isn’t conditional. It’s not, “I love you, if…” Rather, it’s, “I love you, regardless…”
Provide and Protect – Both Physically and Spiritually.
I’m sure your family knows who’s going to protect them if someone breaks into your house.
Will you take that same approach when it comes to spiritual matters too?
We live in a digital world where temptation and perversion are everywhere. If your kids have access to the internet (or even many of the shows and movies) there’s a high probability they’ve been exposed to it in one way or another.
With some of these ads, they don’t have to be on explicit sites to be exposed to it either.
Chances are, your kids have already watched some type of pornography (or are still watching it) and you don’t even know it.
In 2023, a study found that most children (73% of respondents) said they were exposed to pornography by the age of 12. The article goes on to say that less than half (43%) discussed it with a responsible adult.
Article: New Report Finds Most Teens Watch Online Pornography | Psychology Today
Let’s be real here, this IS spiritual warfare. Perverting our kids’ minds at such a young age is not an accident.
So, what are you going to do about it?
As for me, we have done a few things to help with our kids. I’m not saying it’s foolproof because nothing is. But here are a few things we’ve done.
- Have open and honest conversations
- Put blocks on their phones
- Browse through their phones without prior warning
It starts with having open and honest conversations with them. Within a few months of when our son first got his phone, an ad appeared on it for a porn site. My son was embarrassed and even afraid to show me because he thought he’d get in trouble.
I gently talked to him about what he saw (without showing him again) and proceeded to put parental blocks on his phone.
There are apps available that you can put on your kids’ (and spouse’s) phones. This will help control what content they have access to. One could even put restrictions on how long they can access it.
It’s important they understand that my wife and I could take their phones at any moment and look through them at will. Even though there are apps that allow you to see everything they do on their phone, my wife has chosen to express love through trust.
But like President Ronald Reagan famously said, “Trust but verify.”
Protecting your family isn’t just about being willing to protect your family physically. Real men fight for their families on their knees in prayer.
If God is love, and we are made in His image, then biblical masculinity must be rooted in love. Not the passive, watered-down love the world defines, but the bold, sacrificial, truth-filled love of Christ.
This is the masculinity our families and the world need. This is the example our sons should see. And this is the model that transforms not only men but entire generations.
This Week’s Challenge:
Ask God to show you where your love can grow stronger. Lead your home not with pride or pressure, but with the powerful love of Christ.
If you enjoyed this article, consider reading: Are Men Merely Boys Grown Up?
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