Lending a Kind Word to Others
At the end of my article Speak Affirmations, Not Denigrations, I discussed how contagious a smile is. Along with that contagious smile, a kind word can go a long way.
We all work in the Customer Service industry, regardless of what our job is. That’s because we always have customers in one form or another. Even a stay-at-home-mom has customers – her husband and children are her customers.
For those of us in the workforce, our customers may be colleagues, direct reports, or clients of the company.
De-escalating a situation by lending a kind word is Customer Service 101.
And there are a few things that we can do to help our situation. Things like,
- Think Before You Speak
- Ask Them How They’re Doing
- Say Thank You – And Mean It
Think Before You Speak
Even if someone else doesn’t want to pass along a smile. Or, if they say or do something that is disrespectful and/or hurtful, don’t respond in kind.
A lot easier said than done. Trust me, I know.
Life isn’t all about equality. Most of us want to respond with our emotions when somebody cuts us off in traffic, takes our spot in line, or does/says something that gets under our skin.
I grew up in a family that would respond without hesitation. To the point that they wanted the other person to hear their protest.
As I aged, I realized that responding like that didn’t help my situation. In fact, more times than not, it only made it worse.
Have you ever accidentally cut someone else off in traffic? If so, did you apologize (even if you didn’t know them)? Perhaps you waved and gave the “I’m sorry” gesture.
In that situation, maybe you met with an obscene gesture (i.e., “the finger”) in response. You upset them with your driving, and their response upset you. Leading to two people driving angry.
Might we consider that the other drivers are different than us? Perhaps the person who cut you off does need to go back to driving school. But at that moment, that’s not an option.
Rather than become an angry driver yourself, perhaps you could extend a little grace.
Grace is receiving what we don’t deserve.
After all, unless you’re brand new to driving, I don’t believe there’s a single driver on the road who’s never disobeyed a traffic law before.
Ask Them How They’re Doing
Whether it’s the cashier at the grocery/department store, the waiter/waitress at the dive you’ve chosen to dine at, or the kid behind the counter at the movie theatre, they’re people too.
How often do you ask them how they’re doing?
For years, my wife and I have made it a point to ask the individuals helping us how they’re doing. And the crazy thing is, they tell us that most people don’t ask them that question.
Why not?
My daughter and I love going Black Friday shopping. Okay, I’m the one who wants to go, and my daughter is kind enough to go with me.
Some people don’t care for it because there are too many people. For me, that’s what I love about it.
Honestly, I rarely buy anything that I need for Christmas gifts. If anything, I get stuff for myself. On some level, I enjoy the chaos.
Back in Nebraska, there was a store that I’d go to every year. They always had great sales. Though I didn’t need to, I’d end up getting gifts for others just because they seemed like good deals.
After we loaded up the cart, we’d then stand in line for what seemed to be at least an hour. Usually longer.
That part I didn’t care for too much. But it was worth it to me.
For that hour or so, I’d make conversation with those around us. Might as well. We’re all going to be standing there anyway.
And when we finally got to the cashier, I could’ve made some comment about the wait. Which I’m sure they were fully aware of already. Rather, I chose to ask them how they were doing and dealing with the stress of the day.
Tearing their head off wouldn’t make me feel better. And it definitely wouldn’t improve their day. So, as an example to my daughter and those around me, I smile and give a kind word. They already get enough of the other.
And speaking of giving a kind word.
Say Thank You– And Mean It!
We know the magic word is “Please.” But did you know that “Thank you” is just as powerful?
Please and Thank You. Three words that can go a long way.
As a guy, I’m accustomed to holding the door open for others. And there are times, that others (both ladies and men) don’t acknowledge it.
Does that bother me? Yeah, it does. Why? Because I went out of my way to hold the door open for them. I could do like the majority of kids nowadays (not including my own – we’ve taught them better) who just walk through the door. More often than not, they don’t even look back to see if someone is following them.
Of course, they haven’t been taught otherwise and think that somehow, they take priority. In turn, they don’t allow someone else to come through before entering themselves.
Chivalry is lost because most parents don’t teach or encourage it. Whether for the males to hold open the door. Or the females to appreciatively say, “Thank you.”
One day not long ago, I was about to walk into a store and stopped to hold open the door for a lady and (what seemed to be) her two daughters. They were leaving as I was arriving.
As I held the door for them, they walked through the door and past me without a “thank you” or any type of acknowledgment. So, after they had walked 3-4 paces beyond me, I said loud enough for her to hear me, “Does no one say thank you anymore?”
My comment wasn’t meant to insult her in any way. Rather, it was to help her educate her daughters.
To her credit, she did turn around (though she was now about 8 paces from the door) and said, “Thank you.” But her response was prompted by my comment rather than any gratefulness.
Perhaps society is too accustomed to automatic doors that most people don’t think twice to appreciate when a human opens one for them.
Saying “thank you” to someone for doing even a small something, even if it’s their job, is always appreciated. Even more so when it’s sincere.
How much better this world could be if only we decided to think before we speak, ask others how they’re doing, and say thank you and mean it.
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