Overcoming Regrets
Have you ever wished you could “redo” or “undo” something from your past?
If you said “no,” then either you’ve lived in a bubble your entire life or merely have never “lived.”
Because if we’re being honest, we’ve all done things we wish we hadn’t. Whether it was an action or a word, there’s regret for having done or said something.
Even though it’s in the past, it still keeps rearing its head. Perhaps all is well and then without warning it enters your mind. At least, that’s how it happens to me.
This begs the question, is there a way to overcome it? Is there a way to stop it from coming back? Perhaps. But do you really want to?
Hear me out on this. I think having regrets about some things is actually healthy. Let me be clear though, I’m not referring to any criminal, infidelity, immoral, or unethical behaviors.
Here are three ways I think having some regrets could help in our personal growth.
Think Twice – Because Doing the Right Thing is Always the Right Thing to Do
Of course, saying think twice before you speak, or act is always easier said than done.
In the construction industry, there’s an old saying, “Measure twice, cut once.” Why? Because once you make that cut, it’s done. There’s no going back.
Which is great and all, but it doesn’t help with the regret(s) you have now.
According to Verywell Mind,
“Regret might haunt us and prevent us from progressing.”
When someone says something unkind to me, how am I supposed to think twice in that moment?
Some refer to it as taking a pause. I call it, a delayed response. Like what we’re told to do before just firing off an email to our boss (or company as a whole).
According to Psychology Today,
“Pausing for a moment after your conversation partner finishes an utterance can yield surprising benefits.”
No one said that doing the right thing is easy. And no one ever said that doing the right thing won’t bring on regret.
But doing the right thing is always the right thing to do. This includes not doing or saying something that you know (or even suspect) you may regret.
At least it’s a regret that you can learn from. Turn it from a regret into a reminder of what really matters.
Invest In What You Love – Not What You Lust
One regret that many parents have is not spending enough time with their kids while they’re growing up.
In America today, most homes have two working parents. And on a daily basis, most kids spend more time at school than with their own families.
Therefore, it’s no wonder why parents regret not spending more time with them. Have you ever talked about how fast your kids are growing and thought (whether out loud or not), “Where did the time go?”
As parents, we want to take care of our families. Which includes the things we have and are able to do.
Growing up, my dad worked two full-time jobs and one part-time. Needless to say, my siblings and I hardly ever saw him.
When I got older, we had a talk about it. He told me that he was working all of those hours so we could go on nice vacations.
His childhood was deprived of vacations. He was making up for it with his family. But at what expense?
I know families where both parents work, their kids go to school all day, and most of their time is spent arguing when they’re together.
Of course, not every family is like that. But one has to ask, who’s really raising our kids when we’re at work all day and they’re at an institution that’s filling their minds with things we might not agree with?
Are we truly investing in the things that we love (our kids) or the things we lust for (our stuff)?
According to Financial Samurai,
“The average amount of time university-educated moms spend with their children is 120 minutes a day in America. The average amount of time university-educated dads spend with their children is just 85 minutes a day.”
If you can’t afford to homeschool your kids, at least consider investing in them every minute that you can.
Allow any regret you have up to this point (from not spending enough time with them) to fuel you to make a change for the betterment of your kids, spouse, and yourself.
Don’t Live In The Past
Years ago, I knew a lady who didn’t want to date because she’d been hurt before. I also knew a lady who wouldn’t get a dog, because nearly 30 years before she had to put down a dog that she loved.
She refused to get another because she didn’t want to have to go through that pain again.
One way a person might think they can avoid regret is not exposing themselves to the possibility of it. If you hide in yourself, perhaps you won’t have regrets. Or maybe you’ll have the regret of inaction.
Have you ever heard the metaphor, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”?
Not doing something to avoid “making a mistake” can be just as detrimental.
If you’ve ever been in a relationship, then you know that at some point one or both of you will get hurt.
And if after getting hurt you decide not to date because you’re afraid of it happening again. Eventually, you’ll find yourself regretting not trying.
Not only that but perhaps you’ll miss out on that person who could’ve been “the one.” Or creating a new special bond with another pet.
Regret of inaction can be just as powerful, or even more so, than the regret of taking the wrong action.
Psychology Today says that we should,
“Ditch ‘I’ll never to do that again’ thinking.”
Related article: How to Move Past Regret
We can learn from our mistakes. We can’t learn from not making them. Just as we can’t learn if we isolate ourselves from making certain decisions in the future.
If you haven’t experienced any regrets in your life yet, then I’d suggest that you try expanding your bubble and take a chance.
Making choices is a part of life. And sometimes we make the wrong ones. But we can’t learn to make the right ones without making the wrong ones along the way.
If you liked this article, consider reading Greatest Success vs. Biggest Regret.
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