Navigating Marriage and Fatherhood as a Christian
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In the 21st century, Satan and his woke minions have tried to redefine marriage, family, and even what constitutes a person’s gender.
None of which has escaped God’s attention. It shouldn’t escape yours either. The evil in the world is real. It’s present in almost everything we do, see, and hear anymore.
As a Christian husband and father, you’re the spiritual leader of your household. It’s your responsibility to prepare your family for the war that’s already being waged.
You have to help prepare them for the battle we face as Christians. The persecution of the church is happening around the world. And I don’t mean a building where people gather.
In this article, I’d like to discuss how you can lead your family in these times of uncertainty. You’re being prepared for such a time as this.
Be an Example for Your Family
Society will try to persuade you to believe that you’re incapable or inferior to lead your family. That somehow your wife would be a better fit. Perhaps you’ve also been brainwashed to believe it. And now she “wears the pants” in the family.
But I’m here to tell you that’s a lie that comes straight from the pit of hell. The evil one (aka Satan, Lucifer, the devil, etc.) has been trying to turn God’s order on its head since the fall of man in Genesis 3.
None of this has escaped God’s attention. As good Christian men do nothing, the more evil and depravity spread.
So, how do we combat this? How do we fight something that we can’t see, smell, taste, hear, or touch?
Paul lays it out for us in Ephesians 6, referred to as the full armor of God. Like a Roman soldier’s armor, each piece has a purpose. Whether for defense or offense.
As you put on the armor, you’ll be able to provide an example for your family. Whether you like it or not, you’re going to be fighting a daily battle. And so will your family. Would you allow them to go into battle without first being prepared and equipped? No. If you’re anything like me, you’d train them and then lead the way.
Likewise, be the example for them. Teach them what the Bible says, so they’ll know the truth. And not what the evil one tries to impress upon them.
No matter how believable a lie is, it will never be the truth.
You have to be an example. You set the pace. They’re your responsibility. So teach them, train them, love them, lead them, provide for them, and fight for them.
Priorities – God, Wife, Kids, Everything Else
Have you thought about your priorities lately? For most guys, our main priority tends to be our job/career.
We’re good at taking the provide for your family to heart. But we often think that means our job comes first. Our second priority is our kids and their well-being. Making sure they have a safe place to lay their heads, food in their bellies, and clothes on their backs.
We assume that our wives know we love them. After all, they agreed to marry us.
And we go to church, be a good person, and maybe read the Bible now and then.
Our priorities are all messed up. We should be seeking God first. He’s the one who knows all things. He’s the one who made you, your family, this world. And His ways are far superior to our own.
After God comes your wife. Starting with Adam, God designed a woman for every man and vice-versa. Your wife is not perfect and neither are you (or any of us). But she’s a perfect fit for you. God designed her to be your helper. Not your slave (or your kids’ slave), she’s your partner. Just as God gave you abilities He didn’t give her, He gave her what He didn’t give you. So we could rely on and use each other’s strengths.
After your wife comes your kids. That’s right. Your wife was there before your kids (unless you’re a blended family). Blended or not, your wife must come before your kids. This doesn’t mean you love them any less. Not at all. However, it should be your desire to adhere to God’s design for your family.
Then, after God, your wife, and your kids come everyone and everything else. Whether that’s your parents, her parents, friends, colleagues, etc. Anything or anyone beyond your core family (which includes God) should not be prioritized above your family.
Nurture Spiritual Growth
Not only should we be working on growing our faith. We should also provide an environment for our family to grow spiritually.
How can we do this?
Being involved in a Bible-believing church is a good start. However, it can’t stop there. As the spiritual leader of your family, you set the pace.
Spiritual growth shouldn’t be limited to what you learn on Sundays at church. You should be opening your Bible at least a few times a week. Daily is the best way. However, you might have to work up to that.
For support, surround yourself with men who regularly study the Bible. It’s even better if they know more than you.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17
As you learn, teach it to your wife and kids. Not only does it solidify it for you, but you’re being the spiritual leader God’s called you to be.
Some things you could do for learning and fellowship include (certainly not limited to):
- Hold Bible studies in your home
- Pray for others with your family
- Play fun Bible learning games
- Volunteer to help fellow believers or Bible-believing organizations
- Have backyard BBQs with other believers and invite your neighbors (for witnessing to if they’re not believers)
Change is Inevitable
As the years go by, you’ll notice that things have changed. Your hair color, your body form, the ways you think and speak, the style of music you like, your kids will grow up, and so much more. Whether we like it or not, change is inevitable. Therefore, we shouldn’t be afraid of it.
At some point, you’re going to be empty-nesters (when all your kids move out). When that time comes, will you and your wife still have a relationship? If your marriage revolves around your kids, what will you do when they’re out of the house?
Not only will your kids grow and go, you will also be changing throughout the years of your marriage. So will your wife.
Military personnel who’ve been separated from their families for an extended amount of time could tell you this first-hand.
Families have to take steps to stay active in daily life between the service member deployed and the family back home. And it still requires a transition process when they return home.
Why? Because everyone has changed (even in small ways). Back together, they have to learn to live under the same roof again.
Over time, each person changes. When together, it’s easier to see those changes and adjust accordingly. That’s much harder to do when apart.
All this to say, you’re going to change. So will your wife and kids. By remaining active in each other’s lives, you experience it all together. This allows you to prepare for the changes ahead. Including, your kids leaving the nest (home).
Make regular date nights with your wife. Your marriage is about the two of you. It should go beyond your kids. And it must if you want it to last after they leave.
The other day, my wife and I went to the beach to just relax. Afterward, there was a free live concert going on nearby. We walked over and danced in the park. And the only cost was our time. But the reward was priceless.
Seek Support
As with seeking out fellow brothers in Christ, it’s important to have a support structure for your marriage.
This doesn’t have to be therapy/counseling. Building friendships with like-minded believers may be all the support system you need.
You’ll have friends who see marriage and the world through the same biblical lens. This is essential, especially when troubled times come your way.
Once trust is established, you’ll have confidants to lean on as you navigate the rough waters of life. They’ll be looking through a biblical lens when providing advice.
These friends don’t have to be members of the same church, though it does help. The important part is having Christian friends that you can do life with. Because they understand, we’re all sinners in need of a savior.
Navigating marriage and fatherhood as a Christian is not easy. Just remember, God never said living a Christian life would be. But He did say we’d never have to do it alone.
If you found value in this article, consider reading Embracing Being a Christian Husband and Father in 2024.
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