Building a Band of Brothers – The Importance of Male Christian Community
Every man has battles we must fight. Some of them are seen as work stress, financial struggles, and family challenges. While others, like temptation, doubt, and loneliness, are hidden. But you were never meant to fight your battles alone.
A lone wolf doesn’t survive long. But a brotherhood? Well, that’s where men thrive.
God Designed Us for Brotherhood
As men, we sometimes think being strong means being independent. “I don’t need anyone. I can handle it.”
But from the very beginning, in Genesis 2:18, God said it isn’t good for man to be alone. While that verse applies to marriage, the principle extends much further. God never designed us to walk this life in isolation. And there are plenty of verses to support that.
Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”
For years, I was that lone ranger who felt male acquaintances were good enough. I had my best friend in my wife, and I was satisfied.
But I didn’t realize that by doing so, I was missing out on something very important. Male comradery.
Think about King David. Yes, he was a warrior, a king, and a man after God’s heart. But he wasn’t alone. He had Jonathan, King Saul’s son. According to 1 Samuel 23:16, Jonathan was a brother who loved David and strengthened him in God.
Without Jonathan, David’s story may have turned out very different.
Even Jesus surrounded Himself with several men, even though He probably could’ve done it all on His own. But He chose twelve men to disciple. They walked with, learned from, grew with, and continued with His mission.
The great commission, as we know it, is recorded in Matthew 28:
“And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go [c]therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” – Matthew 28:18-20
Brotherhood is God’s design. Therefore, it’s not a weakness.
Accountability – Fighting Temptation Together
One of the biggest reasons men need other godly men in their lives is for accountability.
The struggle of temptation is real. Whether it’s lust, greed, anger, or laziness, they hit all of us. And when we isolate ourselves, we’re like a lone swimmer in the vast ocean. And like a shark, the devil has the advantage when we’re all alone.
Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 says: “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor: For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.”
Brothers in Christ, who may also be an accountability partner, should check in with you regularly. You should be able to ask each other hard questions about your marriage, your thought life, and your walk with God. This will help keep each of you from slipping into darkness, alone.
I spent thirteen years in the Army. From the start, one of the things they taught us was to always have a “battle buddy.” This was someone who went with you everywhere, and you were always looking out for one another.
Imagine being on the battlefield with no one covering your back. You could be exposed to the enemy on all sides. But with your battle buddy, you protect each other. That’s what spiritual accountability looks like.
Real men don’t hide their struggles; they bring them into the light with fellow brothers who care.
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Encouraging One Another
As men, we need accountability partners to keep us on the straight and narrow. This includes having someone to encourage us along life’s path. Even to pick us up when we fall.
You know what it feels like to be discouraged; we all do. Wives are great at providing support and encouragement. However, as men, we also need the support and encouragement from other brothers in Christ.
It wasn’t until after I turned 50 that I finally developed a godly support friendship with a fellow brother. For most of my life, I functioned as a lone wolf. Don’t get me wrong, I had family and my wife. But I didn’t have any godly men around me, who weren’t family, that I could count on.
Life can get difficult at times. We face family pressures, work deadlines, spiritual battles, and sometimes you just feel worn down by life’s demands.
That’s when your band of brothers step in to lend a helping hand and words of encouragement.
Hebrews 10:24–25 says: “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, 25 not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”
This passage is mainly used to support the reason to gather together in a building on Sundays. But when you read it in context, it’s not just about showing up to church. It’s about stirring each other up and motivating one another to stay faithful.
When I was in the Army in 2007, I found myself in the middle of a series of atrocities being perpetrated on service members in the training I was going through. It was a rough time for me. During this trial in my life, I was being encouraged by a fellow believer to keep the faith in the midst of the storm.
Just like a car needs gasoline in the tank for a long journey, we need encouragement to keep us fueled up.
A band of brothers speaks life when you’re too weary to believe in yourself. For those who haven’t found your band of brothers, continue to surround yourself with godly men. Eventually, one or more will turn out to be your Jonathan.
Growth through Friction
We’ve all heard the phrase “iron sharpens iron.” Those words are actually from Proverbs 27:17 that says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
Have you ever watched one of those weapons-making shows? They fashion a weapon out of steel by pounding it out after heating the metal in a fire. Part of finishing the blade is sharpening it.
The blacksmith will spend several minutes running the blade against a grinder to sharpen it. This grinding process throws sparks in all directions. It’s this friction as they press the metal against the grinder that creates a sharp blade.
They could spend all day hammering away at the metal, but it wouldn’t get sharpened without the friction of the grinder.
Keeping fellow brothers in Christ sharp also requires friction. Sometimes, it even takes a challenge.
Growth happens when Christian men push each other toward Christ, not away from Him.
God has given each of us gifts to use for His glory. Perhaps yours is prayer or exhortation, but you struggle with patience. And maybe a fellow brother struggles in those areas but excels in serving others. Together, you can sharpen each other by learning and growing where you’re weak.
Of course, growth also means being teachable. Too many men resist correction because of pride. But a true brother speaks truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. And a godly man listens.
On your own, you might create an edge to your sword. But with a brotherhood, you become sharp for the battles ahead.
Practical Steps to Building Your Band of Brothers
By now, you might be thinking you’d like to have a band of brothers, but don’t know how.
Here are four practical steps to help get you on your way:
- Join a men’s group at your church. And if there isn’t one, start your own.
- Meet consistently. Brotherhood doesn’t grow on once-a-year hangouts. It’s built through regular connection. Meet at least once a week if possible.
- Be real. Brotherhood is only as strong as the honesty within it. Drop the mask and let it be a safe place. Share with each other your struggles and victories. To take it a step further, consider sending each other daily messages of encouragement, a passage of scripture, or a video message you think they could use.
- Pray together. Rising up starts on your knees. Building a strong bond with a fellow brother in Christ begins when you kneel before God together.
When building your group, you don’t need a dozen men. It’s probably best if you didn’t anyway. Start with two or three who are serious about following Christ. That’s enough to build a band of brothers.
And don’t forget to break bread together as often as you can.
If you found value in this article, consider reading: Christian Fatherhood Challenges
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