The 4-Ps of Biblical Manhood
“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” – 1 Corinthians 16:13
There are four characteristics or traits that men of God possess. These are referred to as the 4-Ps: Protector, Provider, Pastor, and Pursuer.
Unfortunately, today’s culture offers conflicting definitions of what it means to be a man. Some go so far as to say biological women can be men and vice versa.
Thankfully, God gives us a clear description of what it means to be a Man of God through His Word.
In this article, we’re going to unpack the 4-P’s and provide Scripture references for each.
Protector
“Therefore, I stationed some of the people behind the lowest points of the wall at the exposed places, posting them by families, with their swords, spears and bows. After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, ‘Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.’” – Nehemiah 4:13-14
Throughout the Old and New Testaments, the Bible instructs men to be protectors. Whether it’s protecting your wife (Ephesians 5:25), your family (Nehemiah 4:14), and even your community/nation (Ezekiel 22:30).
God designed men to protect His creation. So, whether a biological male believes it or not, they were created by God on purpose with a purpose. However, as Romans 1:24-25 points out, some men have chosen to deny God and His design.
For you and me, we have taken up the mantle of protector and chosen to defend our families and communities against the sinful nature of this world.
Protecting your family goes beyond the physical. Yes, if someone breaks into your home, your job is to protect them against the intruder.
However, most crimes against your family likely won’t be a physical confrontation but a digital one.
We live in a digital world now. Long gone are the days when we had to wait to connect to the internet via a noisy dial-up modem. Now, we carry it everywhere in devices that fit easily into one of our pockets.
With the invention of social media, our family’s minds are under assault. And where the mind goes, so does the body.
As the protector of your family, what are you doing to keep them safe? Not allowing them to have a phone isn’t a viable solution. Yes, it will work. But you’ll ostracize them at the same time. I don’t think you want that.
Of course, you could use the defense by quoting Romans 12:2. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.”
If that’s the case, then why not go all the way and become like the Amish?
Your kids are going to be exposed to the evil’s of this world. In my article What Biblical Masculinity Really Looks Like I cite a 2023 study that shows most kids (73%) are exposed to pornography by the age of 12.
And, with the anonymity of social media, bullying is done primarily through the cybersphere rather than on the playground.
According to statistics from the Department of Education, in 2025 cyberbullying is an epidemic. Data shows that 37% of middle schoolers, 25% of high schoolers, and 6% of elementary schoolers are cyberbullied on a weekly. And that 85% of all cases of cyberbullying were done through social media.
The page goes onto say, “The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and other federal agencies have intensified their monitoring of cyberbullying trends, recognizing it as a critical adverse childhood experience that requires immediate attention and intervention.”
Though the purpose of the government is to protect the people, this is an example of them trying. But you and I both know it’s up to us to protect our children.
Like Psalm 127:3 says, “Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him.”
Provider
“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” – 1 Timothy 5:8
Being the provider of your family means ensuring they have food, shelter, clothing, and the resources necessary to live.
From the beginning, in the Garden of Eden, God designed man to work and provide for his family.
“The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.” – Genesis 2:15
Unfortunately, there’s been a trend of young men who are either leaving or not entering the workforce.
Related article: A Shift in the Workforce: Where Are Men Going?
Men were specifically designed to work. It’s in our nature. And as men of God, we are commanded to provide for our families. As 1 Timothy 5:8 says, we’re worse than an unbeliever if we don’t.
Therefore, we must take ownership of the financial obligation we have for our family’s well-being.
Of course, we’re also not supposed to work so much that we neglect other elements of being the providers for our families. Namely, the relationships with each member of the family structure.
Don’t work so much that you deprive your wife and children of quality time with you.
Growing up, my father worked two full-time and one part-time job. We hardly ever saw him. And when we did, he was almost always tired.
Why did he work so much? As an adult, he told me it was so he could provide nice vacations for us. In retrospect, he couldn’t definitively say whether the vacations were for us or for himself.
My father’s father didn’t take his family on vacations. And when my grandfather did take time off, it was never in the summer months. He told my father that he took time off in the winter so other men could take their families on vacations in the summer months.
In other words, my father was trying to compensate for the vacations he never got as a kid. But at what cost? He sacrificed time with family 51 weeks out of the year for one week.
When my wife and I had our kids, I swore I would not do that to them. I explained to my wife, we would need to downsize if we couldn’t live on my income.
We decided to have my wife homeschool and pour into our children the love of Jesus Christ. Rather than sending them to indoctrination centers called public schools.
In order to prepare for this, I began saving funds for tough times in our journey. Being a biblical provider is being proactive not just reactive. If we’re running low on funds because we’re spending too much, that simply means we didn’t plan well enough ahead.
I understand not everyone is able or willing to have the mother stay home. Both my parents worked. And I went through the public school system. So, I won’t judge anyone for sending their kids there. “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” – Joshua 24:15b
Being the provider for your family is more than bringing home a paycheck. Your presence in their lives is far more important than the presents they receive.
And please don’t feel that you’re in it alone. God commands you to provide for your family. And He will be there to help you along the way. For He is the ultimate source of everything.
God gives you the ability to do the work (Deuteronomy 8:17-18), and He will supply for your every need (Philippians 4:19).
When you feel overwhelmed, don’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Bring your burdens to God. Because a godly provider doesn’t rely on his strength alone, but walks in faith. Trust that God will multiply your efforts.
Finally, as a provider you are to prepare for the future.
- Save and Plan: Joseph stored grain during seven years of plenty to prepare for the famine. (Genesis 41)
- Prepare the Next Generation: Think about the legacy you’ll leave – spiritually, financially, and emotionally.
We live in a sin-filled world that seems to be getting worse each year. Therefore, don’t just prepare for tomorrow. Equip your children for the kind of world they’ll inherit.
Pastor
Recently, I heard someone say on a podcast that men aren’t commanded to conduct Bible studies with their families. And you know what? That’s technically true. You won’t find a commandment in Scripture that says, “Thou shalt lead a weekly Bible study in thy living room.”
But here’s what the Bible does say.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” – Deuteronomy 6:5-7
While you may not be required to organize a formal study session, you’re absolutely called to lead spiritually. Teaching, modeling, and talking about God throughout daily life (Ephesians 6:4).
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “The pastor shepherds his flock.”
The word Paul uses in Ephesians 6 for “pastor” comes from the Greek term “episkopos.” It’s where we get the words overseer, bishop, and superintendent. We then combine it with the Latin word “pastor” which means “shepherd.” And both terms are always masculine.
In other words, as a man of God (and the man of your household) you’re commanded to be the pastor of your home. To teach your children about God and His Word.
If you are a husband or father, God has given you the responsibility to shepherd your household; to be the spiritual overseer of your family. You don’t need a theology degree or a pulpit to fulfill this role. You need humility, obedience, and intentionality.
This can be done by:
- Leading in prayer and repentance
- Taking spiritual responsibility for your home
- Modeling Christ-like humility and sacrifice
Leading in prayer and repentance
Be the one who sets the tone spiritually. You don’t have to pray fancy prayers — just pray out loud. Over your meals. Over your wife. Over your children. Joby Martin put it beautifully:
“Be the lead repenter. Be the lead apologizer. And just pray out loud over your wife and kids.”
Taking spiritual responsibility for your home
It’s on you if your kids aren’t learning about God. Not your church, not the youth pastor at church, rather it’s your responsibility. If your marriage is spiritually dry, start watering it with the Word. Leading your family spiritually doesn’t mean dominating. Instead, it means serving, guiding, and protecting their walk with God.
“He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect.” – 1 Timothy 3:4
Modeling Christ-like humility and sacrifice
Jesus washed His disciples’ feet. Do you understand what a humbling experience that must have been?
Back in the time of Jesus, Roman roads would’ve been paved. Likely bricks or stones. The other roads were likely dust trails. A person’s feet would’ve been almost constantly dirty.
Consider the woman who wet Jesus’ feet with her tears, wiped them with her hair, kissed them, and then rubbed perfume oil on them.
“A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. 38 As she stood behind Him at His feet weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.” – Luke 7:37-38
Not only are we to humble ourselves, but we must love them sacrificially.
Jesus laid down His life for His Bride, the Church. If you want to lead like Jesus, serve first. Confess your sins openly. Ask for forgiveness when you mess up. And let your family see you pursuing Christ honestly.
For years, I didn’t know what it meant to lead my family in a godly way. Like my family growing up, I thought going to church on Sundays was enough.
I was allowing the world to influence my decisions for my family rather than God or His Word. For years, my wife prayed that I would take up an active biblical role in my family.
Like the prodigal son, I wanted to do my own thing. That was until I realized how wrong I was. It wasn’t and hasn’t been easy. But I knew my family deserved better.
It probably won’t come easy. Perhaps it will even be difficult. But no matter what, pastoring your home isn’t optional.
Are you leading your family with the Word of God, or are you letting the world disciple them?
If you’re looking for some good Men’s Bible Study Material, consider checking out Christianbook.com.
Pursuer
Men are really good at pursuing women. How long did you pursue your wife before she agreed to marry you? Do you use that same passion to chase after God? What about your children? Or now that you’re married with children, you’ve checked out of the whole chasing thing.
A godly man doesn’t passively wait for relationships to grow. He chases after God, seeks connection with his wife, and stays engaged with his children. Rather than checking out, a man of God leans in.
Pursue God
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” – Matthew 6:33
You must start your pursuit with God. When you pursue Him, you set the pace for your home. You don’t wait to be told to pray or read your Bible. And your relationship with God will fuel everything else.
Pursue your wife
Biblical masculinity means to love your wife like Christ loved the Church.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” – Ephesians 5:25
The Bible uses four words for love: Eros, Agape, Philia, and Storge.
Eros is where we get the word erotic. It’s romantic or passionate love. Agape is unconditional or selfless love. Philia is friendship or brotherly love. That’s why the city of Philadelphia is known as the “City of Brotherly Love.” And storge is familial love.
The love you have for your wife should be both eros and agape. As her protector, you understand sacrifice. But she also needs to be wooed.
Whether you’ve been married a week or fifty years, you still need to date her, make her feel seen and heard, lift her up by speaking life over her, and tell her how much you love her. Actions speak louder than words. But words are still nice to hear.
Have you told her today that you love her? When was the last time you took her on a date, just the two of you? If it wasn’t recently, make one for this weekend or next. And make sure the conversation focuses on the two of you. Yes, you can talk about the kids, but the focus needs to remain on you and your wife.
Pursue your children
That’s right. Your hierarchy should be God, your wife, and then your kids. Do not let your children take priority over either God or your wife.
As men, we want to leave a legacy that goes well beyond our years. Often, that means our children.
However, we go against God’s design when we place the children out of order.
We already covered that you’ll be showing storge love to your kids. Part of loving your children is disciplining them.
Your kids need connection – in more ways than one.
“The one who will not use the rod hates his son, but the one who loves him disciplines him diligently.” – Proverbs 13:24
If you discipline your children, ensure it’s never done out of anger.
As I mentioned before, my dad worked a lot, and when we did see him, he was usually tired. But there’s more to that story.
My dad had two wooden paddles used to discipline my siblings and me. One was a backup.
When I was around thirteen years old, my dad lit into me. To this day, I have no idea what I did. He held me upside down by my ankles with one hand and was spanking me with the paddle in his other.
The strikes were so hard that he broke the paddle over my behind. Upset, he dropped the paddle, grabbed me with both hands, and took me to my room. Standing in the doorway, he threw me like a sack of potatoes toward my bed. I bounced off the bed and into the wall.
Within a matter of seconds, he had returned with the backup paddle and continued to beat me with it.
I’m over 50 years old and I still remember that day.
After our kids were born, my wife and I decided to take a different approach to discipline. We still spanked them when they were young, and it was necessary for correction. But it was always with an open hand and on their bottom. Then, after the disciplining was over, we explained to them why they were spanked.
As they got older, we stopped spanking and began taking things away as a form of discipline (e.g., time with friends, favorite toys, time-outs, etc.).
Being in the Army, I got creative with their punishments. Perhaps it was one minute of wall sit. If you’re unsure what that is, I’ve linked to an article on it below.
Related article: 9 Reasons You Should Do Wall Sits (and How to Get Started)
Furthermore, I spend time with my kids. Both together and one-on-one. I want them to know I love them equally as unique individuals.
My daughter and I both love art. So, we give each other suggestions and bounce ideas off one another. My son is more into gaming, some sports, and anime. He and I throw the football around, play video games (periodically), and watch shows he likes.
How are you pursuing your children? What’s one thing you can start doing today to be more active in their lives?
Pursue your purpose
Many people wonder what their purpose in life is. But when it comes down to it, the answer is quite simple.
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” – Colossians 3:23
God gave you the ability to get the gifts you have. You’re surrounded and raised by the people you have in your life for a reason. You’re where you are at this moment in time on purpose for a purpose. So, go live it out.
God designed you to be a Protector, Provider, Pastor of your home, and a Pursuer of Him and His purpose. So, let me ask you, are you walking in that calling?
Whether you are or not, one thing’s certain: every one of us can grow.
As long as there’s breath in your lungs, your mission isn’t over. So don’t coast. Don’t settle. If you’re unsure where to begin, open God’s Word and fix your eyes on Jesus. He is the ultimate model of biblical manhood.
Now rise and lead like Him.
If you enjoyed this article, consider reading: Parenting as a Team
This post contains affiliate links. This means I may earn a commission should you choose to sign up for a program or make a purchase using my link.
Related Posts
About The Author
