Speak Affirmations, Not Denigrations

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Affirmation is a way to verbally lift a person up. On the other hand, denigration is a way to push someone down.

In the age of electronic social media, it’s become easier and easier to speak harshly to one another (which includes bullying) without fear of reprimand.

It’s become easier to bully and be mean to others because it’s so impersonal. People are secure behind their electronic devices. All face-to-face interactions are being reduced because of technology.

I often wonder if these online bullies (aka cyberbullies) think it’s merely a game. For all of those young people who’ve committed suicide, as a result of their bullying, it’s not a game. Nor is it a game to their families and friends.

The power of words.

During the COVID-19 lockdowns, there were countless stories of young people who had taken their own lives. One of them was a ten-year-old girl.

According to her parents, she was supposed to be in her room doing schoolwork. When they went to check on her, a few hours later, they found that she had hung herself.

They realized that it was cyber-bullying when they found her suicide note. She was being bullied by some girls from school. Her parents were completely unaware of it.

Words are very powerful. Much more than many probably think. They have the power to lift people up. Just as they have the power to push people down. Some even allow those words to overtake them.

Give what you want to get.

When I was a kid, there was an old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones. But words will never hurt me.” It’s a nice saying, but it’s not true. Words do hurt.

On the other hand, words can often be used as a positive motivator. They can lift a person up and boost their self-esteem.

People like being talked nice to. However, we don’t always talk nice to others. Have you ever gone to a grocery or department store and seen a customer berating a cashier or manager?

The cashier, or manager, in turn, sits/stands there and either says nothing or tries to speak kindly to the extremely rude individual. I see the person, doing the berating, as a mean human being. It really doesn’t matter their reasoning either.

How do you think that person would feel if the employee were to speak to them in a like manner? It would probably set them off even more.

Why is that? Perhaps better yet, why couldn’t the angry customer express their frustration without resorting to personal attacks? They wouldn’t want to be talked to that way. So, what gives them the right to speak in that manner to others?

Be sincere, not superficial.

Well, they’re only able to because no one is stopping them. Those of us in the United States are protected by the First Amendment right of free speech. But that right ONLY pertains to protected speech against the government. Not a fellow citizen.

Many fights and wars have been started over mixed words. The majority of which could’ve been avoided had the choice of words been kinder. Not to mention the sincerity of those kind words.

People can tell when someone is sincere or not. Not only in the words but also in their mannerisms and tone of voice. We can tell when someone is being fake to appease us. It’s almost an insult when that happens. At least we believe their honesty when they’re speaking harshly.

Why not be honest and speak kind words?

Pass along a smile – they’re contagious.

When we speak kind words to others and are authentic, it’s easy to see a positive change in the recipient. Whenever my family and I go to the store, we make it a point to tell the cashier that we appreciate them. We do the same for employees who help us throughout the store.

It only takes a few extra seconds for us. But those words might be exactly what that person needed to hear that day. Only a few seconds for us, but a world of difference for them. The number of smiles it has brought is countless.

My wife does it much better than I do. She’s very good at making a person feel appreciated. And she does this through her smile and genuine kindness.

She knows that she doesn’t have to do it. Which is all the more reason for her to do it. By the way, did you know that smiles are contagious? Try it out if you don’t believe me.

The next time you’re out and about, smile at someone else. Now, make sure it’s a genuine smile. Your eyes will betray you if it’s not.

Once you send out a genuine smile, you’ll see other smiles sent back to you. It’s like a natural reaction from others. They almost have to smile in response.

Try it sometime. And then, when they smile back, say something polite. Nearly ten out of ten times, you’ll lift that person’s spirits. You’ll be creating a ripple effect. That person will take that smile and pass it on to someone else. Who in turn will pass it on to someone else. And so on and so forth.

All those happy faces and it started with you, a smile, and a kind word of encouragement. The world already has its fill of denigrations. So, let’s go out there and lift people up by smiling and speaking affirmations. Lord knows we could all use a little more of it.

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