5 Ways to Champion Your Wife

The words we use can either build others up or tear them down. As Christian husbands, God calls us to protect, provide, and lead our families not only with strength, but with encouragement and love, too.

In this article, we’re delving into ways to encourage our wives. Not just occasionally, but daily, consistently, and biblically.

1. Speak Words of Life

Picture this: you get home after a long day of work. The moment you open the door, your wife greets you with complaints and a honey-do list. Or maybe she decides to tell you about her day in the middle of a game you’re watching. How do you respond? The words and tone you use speak volumes to her fragile spirit.

For years, I would have responded in one of two ways. Either ignore her or get frustrated and say something I’d regret.

Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

The words and actions we use either encourage (life) or discourage (death) the person we’re speaking to.

And because so much of our communication is nonverbal, your actions, facial expressions, and lack of words also convey a lot.

So, before you respond with your obvious displeasure, take a deep breath. Remember, she’s your partner in life. The person you share everything with.

Our flesh wants to snap back with, “Why can’t you ever…fill in the blank” as you try to cram that size 11 into your mouth. Those words will instantly put you in the ring for another round of conflict.

Instead of speaking from your flesh, try something like “I really appreciate and want to hear what you have to say, can you give me (consider a reasonable amount of time – like 15 minutes) and we can discuss this further?”

Therefore, encourage your wife by affirming her value, her beauty, her efforts with the house and kids, and the unique gifts God has blessed her with.

If she’s a stay-at-home mom, and you notice things around the house that didn’t get done. Rather than saying something accusatory, simply affirm her by stating, “I appreciate how you…” and fill in the rest. That simple statement could change her whole day.

We all know how those prize fights in relationships end. Both individuals lose. But encouragement builds intimacy and closeness instead of distance.

2. Support Her God-Given Gifts and Dreams

God has uniquely gifted your wife, not just for your marriage, but for His Kingdom. For example, my primary spiritual gift is teaching, while my wife’s is exhortation. Anyone who knows her would agree that she’s a natural encourager. People are drawn to her because of this.

One way I support her is by giving her the space and freedom to use her gift. Now, here’s the honest part—she’s an extrovert, and I’m an introvert. Sometimes that means listening while she talks…and talks. I might chime in now and then, but she’s the talker in our family. Still, that’s how God wired her, and I’ve learned that my role isn’t to silence her, but to celebrate her.

1 Peter 3:7 tells us, “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

That means she’s not just your wife, she’s also a co-heir with Christ. When you respect her gifts, you’re honoring God.

So, don’t just tolerate her dreams, champion them. Become her biggest cheerleader. When you support her passions, you’re not only strengthening your marriage, you’re fueling her God-given purpose.

If you’ve been blessed with a wife whose gift is exhortation, don’t forget that she also needs to be encouraged

3. Pray With and For Her

Recently, my wife has been walking through some health challenges. We’ve been to specialists, ran labs, and had scans, but every test keeps coming back negative. The pain and sleepless nights are real, but answers have been hard to find.

In those moments when she feels weakest, one of the best ways I can encourage her is through prayer. Many times, I’ve prayed with and over her and asked God to provide healing, strength, and peace. We fully believe God can heal miraculously, but that doesn’t mean we sit back and do nothing. We still pursue answers through doctors while trusting that, ultimately, God is in control.

James 5:16 says, “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

Prayer isn’t just a last resort; it’s the most powerful weapon we have. And here’s the key: don’t just pray silently for your wife. Pray out loud so she hears you covering her in prayer.

When she hears you call on God on her behalf, it reminds her that she’s not alone in the struggle. She has you, and together, you both have Him. That’s encouragement at the deepest level.

So, make prayer a daily rhythm in your marriage. Pray for her needs, her struggles, her dreams, and her walk with Christ. It doesn’t have to be long or fancy – just sincere. When you pray with your wife, you’re not only inviting God into your marriage, you’re reminding her that she’s cherished, protected, and covered.

If you’re looking for some good Men’s Bible Study Material, consider checking out Christianbook.com.

4. Be Present and Listen

As men, we’re problem solvers. Sometimes, we know the answer before our wives finish telling us the problem. At least, that’s how it used to be with me. My wife would express her frustrations, while I was formulating the solution before she even finished her sentence.

For years, I didn’t understand that sometimes my wife didn’t want a solution. Rather, she just wanted to be heard. She was looking for me to feel it with her.

James 1:19 reminds us, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

That’s not natural for us as men because we like action. But encouragement doesn’t always come through fixing a problem. Sometimes it comes through sitting quietly, nodding, holding her hand, and saying, “I hear you.”

Being present means more than just hearing the words. It means putting down the phone, muting the game, or closing the laptop and looking into her eyes so she knows your focus is on her. When you listen with your eyes, not just your ears, you’re telling her she matters more than whatever else is competing for your attention.

Encouraging your wife isn’t always about speaking or doing. Sometimes the greatest encouragement is found in your silence and presence. When you truly listen, you’re telling her, “You’re valuable. Your voice matters. I care about what you feel.”

5. Lead with Gentle Strength

Men are stronger than women in many ways. This is most evident when it comes to physical strength. That strength could be used to dominate, intimidate, or even silence our wives. But as Christian husbands, we know that God didn’t design marriage for domination. No, He designed it for love and partnership.

God designed women to be our helpers. Genesis 2:18 tells us that God gave man a helper suitable for him, not a servant to be ordered around.

Ephesians 5:28 – 29 says, “In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.”

That means the way we treat our wives is a direct reflection of how we understand God’s calling as husbands. True leadership isn’t harsh – it’s sacrificial. It’s about using the strength God gave us to create safety and stability for our wives, not fear or control. It should bring rest, not anxiety. Our wives should feel more loved, more secure, and more valued because of our leadership. They should never have to feel diminished by it.

Choose patience when frustration rises, choose to serve when you’d rather be served, and choose to protect her heart even in moments of conflict. Gentle strength doesn’t mean weakness. It means loving your wife the way Christ loves His bride, the Church.

True masculinity isn’t about proving how strong you are. It’s about using your God-given strength to protect, to cherish, and to lead your wife closer to Christ. That’s how encouragement comes alive in your marriage.

This week, I challenge you to implement one area each day – speaking words of life, supporting her gifts and dreams, praying with and for her, listening, and gentle leadership – until you’ve intentionally encouraged your wife with each of them. And then let this become part of your daily interactions with your wife.

Men, our wives are not just our partners—they’re God’s daughters, entrusted to us. When we encourage them, we reflect Christ’s love for His bride.

True strength isn’t about domination, it’s about devotion.

If you enjoyed this article, consider reading: Why 50-50 Relationships Fail

This post contains affiliate links. This means I may earn a commission should you choose to sign up for a program or make a purchase using my link.