Martin Howard
Do you have an opinion? Um, yes you do.
Does your opinion sometimes go against the opinions of your friends, family, and/or co-workers? If it doesn’t already, at some point it will.
Why?
Because we all come from different backgrounds. See things from different perspectives. And have unique experiences, knowledge, and education. Even if we grew up in the same family/household.
I grew up with three siblings. As adults, we see the world through different lenses and from different perspectives.
When we get together, there’s no shortage of opinions being thrown around. Because we all have one.
Nonetheless, there are times when it would be to our advantage to keep them to ourselves. In this article, I’d like to discuss five situations when it would best suit us to keep our opinions to ourselves.
Little or No Thought Has Gone Into It
Have you ever walked into a room where some individuals were in the middle of a heated conversation? One that seemed like the fate of the world was at stake.
Obviously, it wasn’t. But the situation seemed intense, nonetheless. Battle lines had been drawn. If you’re the one on the outside, you’ve probably realized if you decide to enter the debate you’re entering into a war of words.
Before entering, you pause. Do you cast that stone? Or do you put the arrow back in your quiver?
Unless you understand the conversation and the participants in it along with their views. You might be better off to sit and listen for a while. Rather than throw your hat into the ring too soon.
As soon as that shot’s fired, it can’t be undone.
The more you know the subject and situation, the better position you’ll be in to provide a valued opinion.
However, if you decide to jump in feet-first, without testing the water, you might instantly regret that decision.
You’re likely to fall victim to the old foot and mouth disease. Open mouth, insert foot.
You Lack the Expert Knowledge
Similar to adding your opinion too quickly, not having expert knowledge is just as annoying and irrelevant.
As we all know, everyone has an opinion. But one that lacks expert knowledge of the subject at hand could cause those currently in the conversation to think less of you.
There’s a quote from Dr. Arthur Burns, “It is better to keep silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubts.”
Do you really want to be that guy/gal? No, none of us do.
Unless you have something of substance that can lend credible substance to the conversation, providing a personal opinion when it’s not asked for or desired can make others think less of you.
On the other hand, if you possess the expert knowledge and lend it to the conversation, even if not asked for, your knowledge could provide great insight to those in participation.
Not only that, but your expertise could influence others to respect you and your opinion. It might even clarify any misunderstandings.
Your expert knowledge might not only be desired but needed.
It’s a Controversial Subject – and You’re in the Minority
My family has the same beliefs and thoughts when it comes to politics. However, my in-laws political persuasion is contrary to mine and my wife’s.
Any time you get people together, politics will undoubtedly come up (whether directly or indirectly). When the subject comes up, I’m not one to shy away from a good debate.
Over time, I’ve learned how to disagree without arguing. Primarily out of necessity to keep the peace with them.
Nonetheless, when a political figure, a certain topic, or the like is brought up, I’m usually well enough studied to help correct any misinformation that’s being spoken or implied.
My wife’s family loves to watch a certain propaganda “news” channel that’s well known for reporting opinion as fact.
When they bring up an opinion and state it as fact, I can’t help but interject.
However, when I do interject it’s not with an opinion. I’m not going to follow their lead of stating an opinion as fact. Rather, I’ll provide factual information.
Mind you, they’ll inevitably try to defend and argue the false premise of their position. But I try to avoid lending an opinion to it. Just what I factually know to be true.
Someone lending an opinion will undoubtedly not add any value to the conversation. Just like providing an opinion without expert knowledge, when you’re in the minority position others will develop an opinion about you. And it probably won’t be a flattering one.
Your Opinion is a Foregone Conclusion
Are you someone who routinely gives your opinion to others? Do you often say the same thing, over and over again, about the same topic?
If so, when that topic comes up, you’ll probably be chomping at the bit to give your opinion on it yet again.
However, if the individuals in the conversation are already fully aware of your stance, lending it doesn’t provide any value. They already know.
For those who don’t want to feel left out, you might say something like, “I think everyone here knows my opinion on the matter” and leave it at that. Maybe add a smirk or smile for added effect.
But there’s no need to restate what others already know. Perhaps those in attendance might even quote you word-for-word. In which case, you’re better off keeping that opinion to yourself.
On the other hand, perhaps you’ll find yourself conversing with other who don’t know your opinion. However, if they know you, how you carry yourself, or that you’re known for your position, it’s probable they’ll prematurely, albeit accurately, predict what your opinion would be on the topic.
Your opinion is already a foregone conclusion to them. By opening your mouth, you’d only be confirming what they already know.
In those instances, you can talk about the subject, without lending your opinion on the matter. Unless it’s asked of you.
If and when it’s asked, preface it with, “You might have already figured it out…” or something like that. Don’t forget to add a smile. That way it will be witty and hopefully better received.
When No One Asks For It
And the last reason why you should keep your opinion to yourself. When no one asks for it.
As we’ve already discussed, and you probably already knew anyway, we all have an opinion on various topics. Whether that’s for, against, or indifferent. Even indifference is an opinion.
I can’t tell you the number of times that I’ve been in a conversation when a new person comes up to lend their opinion.
Now, if they have an expert opinion on the matter, then I’m happy to hear what they have to say. But if they merely have an opinion on the topic, then it might not be as welcomed.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy others joining in on the conversation. Even if their stance is opposite to my own, that’s what makes them interesting.
Nonetheless, if it doesn’t add value to the conversation, it’s merely an unsolicited opinion, then that person should keep it to themselves unless asked.
Of course, if we’ve thought a lot about our opinion and we’re dying to share it with others, there will undoubtedly be those who will sense that and ask for it. In which case, you’ve been given the green light to share your opinion.
Then again, the article is just an opinion. *Smiley face*
